Who is My Neighbor?
Teaching Students to be Servant Leaders
I recently asked my favorite psychologist — Stephanie Johnson, my high school guidance counselor — what students REALLY need. I’m honored to publish her response here.
A religious scholar asked Jesus, “Teacher, what must I do to get eternal life?” Jesus asked him what was written in God’s law. The scholar replied, “That you love the Lord your God with all your heart and your neighbor as yourself.” Jesus replied, “Good answer! Do it and you’ll live.” Luke 10:25-27.
It was the beginning of a new school year in 1988. Edwin (my husband) and I had just moved to Apopka, Florida to take up teaching positions at Forest Lake Academy. Our son, James, was an 8th grader at the nearby elementary school, Forest Lake Elementary Education Center. It had not been an easy decision to make a move for James’ 8th grade year but all recommendations for the elementary school had been positive and we felt good about his new school. That good feeling lasted just a short while and then we found out he was being bullied. It was a hard year with many visits for ice cream after school to encourage James to stay strong. I finally decided to approach the school about the bullying. To my dismay, the answer I received was not much help. I was told that this 8th grade class had been a problem throughout their elementary school years. It was just how it was and nothing was going to change. Needless to say, I didn’t like the answer. I kept thinking, why do students attending a Christian school, where they are taught to love one another turn to bullying? I made a decision right there and then to develop a Servant Leadership program to teach high school kids the skills of caring.
The structure of the Servant Leadership program is based on Luke 10:27 which is about Loving God; Loving each other; Loving yourself.
It involves not only teaching high school students the skills of Servant Leadership, but also it gives them real life projects to “be Jesus” to others. The program which I started at Forest Lake Academy was structured as follows:
Loving Yourself. To know yourself is a difficult but important life task. How you communicate with others, how you deal with issues in your life, how you handle conflict and how you relate to others all contribute to how much you love yourself. The purpose of the four classes taught in the program, conflict resolution, human relations, group techniques and social issues, was to help students learn about themselves so that they could gain confidence in their abilities to help their peers through difficult times.
Loving Others. To be a servant leader means to serve as Jesus served others with unconditional love. The goal of loving others should be met through “hands on” experiences by meeting people where their needs are as a way of leading them to the ultimate problem-solver, Jesus Christ. These experiences can be peer to peer, i.e. programming, small groups, peer tutoring, mentoring, peer counseling and peer mediation, or they can be community service based.
Loving God. Learning to love God with all of our passion is the work of a lifetime. It is a hard thing to measure. The signs of a growing relationship with Christ can be observed in the confidence that grows within students in your group. As they get to know themselves, and as they accept their identity in Christ, teenagers will reach out to others, meet their needs and bring their fellow peers to a desire to serve as Jesus served.
How do you evaluate the end result? Servant Leadership is a deeply personal journey. The only way to learn of the impact of a servant leadership program is to let your students tell their own stories. Here is one story of a life impacted by the Servant Leadership program:
”Jesus said that the two greatest commandments were to love God and to love your fellow man. I have found that the relationship between these two loves is not inversely proportional, but rather it is quite directly proportional. The more you love God, the more you want to love your fellow man. Servant Leadership has given me the means to both of these. It is difficult to love God and others if you don’t first love yourself. Being in this program has helped me see that I have plenty of talents and that I am a worthwhile person. I am able to use my talents quite frequently in this program. Doing workshops has helped me be more comfortable being myself in front of people, and I can organize talks better now. Doing mediations has shown me the importance of being professional when needed and has helped me help other people. Being in Shadows (mentoring program) has helped me be able to deal with younger kids better, and I’ll be a better father one day for it. Tutoring has helped me develop better patience and teaching skills. Finally, being a group leader in CanOpeners (small groups) has given me a place for support and friendship. Since I have grown so much in love for my fellow man, I have also grown infinitely in my love for God. Christ was the greatest servant ever and the Servant Leadership program has helped me see just what it means to be a disciple for Christ.”
—Beans Kuhlman
The vision that I have had for the Servant Leadership program of teaching kids to care for each other never changed in the four Christian high schools where I taught these skills for 30 years. I have been told by my administrators that the culture on each of these campuses changed because of how students learned the skills of caring for each other. I often hear from former students who like to share with me how they are using their servant leadership skills in their workplace, home and churches to treat people with respect and dignity. Life is good. It doesn’t get much better than this! Blessed in my retirement to see how God led in the development of a program that keeps on giving for Him!